GAGAGA

"I want your ugly, I want your disease

I want your everything, as long as it's free..."

Wow! With such tender and loving lyrics, Lady Gaga has taken romance to a whole new level!

NEW MERCHANDISE IN THE MARKET!

Sometimes the topics in my blog are so deep that I need to read them over and over in order to quite understand them. Today I was going through a previous post of mine when I was struck by one of the ads on the side of my blog.

There it was, hanging between two very good causes. It was between “how to teach kids responsibility” and “Autism Grants”…

The ad was trying to sell what it seems to be a new product in town. Free Moroccan girls… yes you heard it right. IT’S FREE. This special promotion is valid through the holiday season until end of December. Hurry up. Looking for a special gift for your hubby this Christmas, well look now more! Everyone can use a FREE Moroccan girl. And if you don’t think you’ll use it, well get it anyways. IT’S FREE! You can always keep it in the attic for next year!



On another note, I would like to share with you couple of photos showing how the streets of Great Dubai look on a fairly windy day. Excuse the quality of photos, they were taken from my mobile camera…

COPENHAGEN 09

These are the real dangerous minarets threatening our lives that need to be banned...

IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, DO NOT READ THIS POST

I can’t understand why parents complain so much about their children navigating through the internet by themselves and worrying that they might be checking websites with adult contents (classy terminology for porn).

I mean porn sites have very strict rules for minors under 18 which are very hard to break.

Before entering an adult website, you are always asked whether you are under or over 18 years old. If you are over 18, than naturally you will click on the continue button, and you will be directed to the only place where world peace exist, a world where everyone loves everyone, and like to show it, and where people are extremely, or better to say way too friendly.

But here comes the trick… if you are under 18, then you will have to click on the button that states so, so you will be directed to… well, I’m not sure where you will be directed. No one is sure. I don’t think anyone dared to click on that button. Who knows, it might direct you to lala land, or you might win the jackpot after clicking it. I think this will remain a mystery…

Fortunately, here in the UAE (I’m sure other countries have done the same, but I will allow myself to talk about UAE since I live here), they have found some more drastic means to control the access of the minors to certain websites. That will be by simply blocking these websites. The only drawback about this is that the government apparently consider all the citizens to be still minors and too delicate to have the responsibility to choose which sites to access and which sites not to. And I’m not talking here about porn (it’s not like I tried or something), I’m talking about Flickr, Skype and so many other examples.

I just wish one day Arab regimes will start treating their people as adults, and give them a little bit of freedom with responsibility, I think then, only then they can hope to become a developed nation!

BAD KARMA!

The only positive thing about working in sales is that you have a lot of time for yourself. At 10:00 AM you will be out of the office, and you will have the freedom to do whatever you want. Pay your bills, renew your documents, catch an early movie, have coffee with your friends (they should be working in sales as well), and finally let’s not forget, you can actually… work.

Hey don’t judge me, if you are working in sales you would know that it is physically impossible to be visiting customers throughout the whole day, and wasting some time, or taking advantage of your free time is part of the job description.

Anyways, I’m investing my time in the last period for working on my private business.

Call it karma, or call it whatever you want, but today was a total waste of time.

After I settled in my usual and secluded coffee shop, turned on my laptop and was getting ready to release my imagination and come up with a slogan for my business (the aim of today), 2 women came with their two 3 or 4 yr old kids. After the kids had their sugar rush from all the chocolate donuts they devoured, they were literally all over the place. Screaming, running, jumping on the sofas and their mothers were too busy gossiping instead of making them quiet. So at that point, my imagination was instantly shifting from creating a slogan into finding ways to commit a perfect crime.

So after some time has passed, and some dark, very dark ideas that can make SAW sequels just another Disney picture, I saw myself packing and leaving with not a single work done.

I am not sure if I can call what happened with me a total waste of time, since at least now I know who’s sleeping with whom in the neighborhood, who did a failed boob job, and most importantly, what “tabkha” can be made in JUST HALF AN HOUR!!!

Apocalypse!

We have a new government now, the economy is doing fine compared to the world crisis, Tourism is booming, we opened the new souks in Beirut, we shall be listed inchalla in Guinness records for the country with most compatriots achieving world records. In brief, the situation seems to be doing fine and the future is finally starting to look bright.

I just hope 2012 will not be really the end of the world :S

MAID IN LEBANON!

In October 2009 alone, eight foreign domestic helpers have died in Lebanon. Six of whom “fell” or jumped from high places.

In August 2008, Human Rights Watch reported that at least one foreign maid was dying every week (Source: Naharnet)

What a shameful and embarrassing report for a country that considers itself to be civilized, and for people who believe to be cultured and educated.

Dear Lebanese women, it is not going to the hair salon every day and wearing the most expensive brands that make you sophisticated, and dear Lebanese men, it’s not the huge cigar that you stuck up your mouth that makes you classy and refined.
Just stand in front of the mirror, look at yourself and say out loud: my employees prefer jumping from a high rise building rather than having to live one more day under my cruelty and tyranny and with my oh so pampered children.

If I were you, I would have jumped myself…

W SHOE 3LEI?

Today at work I had a very important meeting with a potential Indian client. I wanted to make sure that everything was ready before the meeting. Documents were prepared, suit was ironed, shoes were shined. I even checked on wikimapia the exact location of the company I’m visiting because I wanted to reach there on time and didn’t want any surprises on my way.

But even with all the preparations, a surprise was waiting for me right at the entrance of the company.

It came in a shape of a poster with the following written on it “Please keep the area clean, no shoes are allowed”.

The first thing that came to my mind before anything else was to try to remember which socks I wore today? Luckily I had worn a new pair of socks that still doesn’t present any “holes” symptoms.
Then, after the message really got me, it took me a while standing at the entrance of the company trying to figure out whether I really should take off my shoes, or entering the building and pretend that I didn’t notice the poster.

After spending some time, standing like a fool trying to come up with a decision, I found myself taking off my shoes, and proceeding to the meeting. At the end, I am the one who is in need of this client’s business, so I had to go by his rules, at least in his own premises. But I do admit that I felt the irony remembering that I shined my shoes.

When I first entered the office and saw all the people barefoot, I felt a little bit weird, like someone going to a nudist beach for the first time. But then, when the meeting was in progress, I realized how comfortable it was working like this. I should try implementing this rule in our office… Or not, it is comfortable, but I m not sure how much we are ready for it.

Anyways, the day passed and everything went ok, and the meeting went smoothly, but this made me think of how far we are willing to go to please our customers and what will be considered as a limit?

WEEK END / WEEK START

I’m living in Dubai for almost a year now and I still couldn’t digest the fact that my weekend ends by Saturday.

I still feel so grumpy and pissed when I go to the office on Saturday morning, and call up my friends and family in Lebanon, and they will be preparing for the weekend which will be just starting...

And don’t let me even start talking about Sunday.

I’m trying to find some excuses to leave Dubai and go back to Lebanon. Can this be considered as a relevant one?

*By the way, I look much hotter than the guy in the cartoon

A SIMPLE CUP

I’m living a dilemma that I am a bit embarassed to share with the world. But what the hack, I have to take it out of my system; otherwise it will keep eating me from the inside.

I need to know something… AM I GETTING STUPID??????

I’ve been feeling this lately (for quite some time actually) because of one particular and supposedly very stupid task.

Yes… I admit… I have difficulties in ordering coffee.

I still remember in some much simpler times, where people used to go to a coffee shop, and the only thing they needed to tell the waiter was “can I have a cup of coffee”. Well then, you might expect the waiter to ask you whether you want it with milk and sugar, and that was IT.

But now, going to a coffee shop is becoming like going for a test. You need to study hard and be very well prepared when the waiter will drop the question of what would you like to have… and don’t you EVER consider telling him…coffee. Instead, you will have tell him a jingle that would pretty much sound like what can be a song for the Black Eyed Peas ♫ ♫ Venti Macchiato, Karen made me sharing all the Grande Frappuccino ♫ ♫

Anyways, Sorry I can’t write any longer, I need to get back to study because I am really craving for a cup of coffee but I’ve been postponing this task for quite some time.

Meanwhile, please enjoy the song; it will keep you focused on the assignment :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXKxs8Ge_9g

TILL THE LAST PUFF DO US PART

Lighting up the cigarette, inhaling the smoke, feeling the nicotine infiltrating through the blood and increasing the heartbeat… this practice is a ritual for a huge number of people throughout the world in order to start their day.

This blog is not to discuss the detriment of smoking, nor to encourage people to smoke less. This topic has already been so over consumed. Plus, I am a casual smoker myself, and I do enjoy this ritual from time to time, especially after a heavy meal or while having a drink. To be honest with you I am smoking right now, and this is what initiated me to write this blog.

Another thing that kicked me off to write this blog as well is that I read in an article today that Syria has banned smoking in public places.

Syria, really?

Well I know that Dubai is one of the pioneers that banned smoking in public places in the Arab world. But this kind of regulation, you expect it from Dubai. This city is so wannabe. I’m sure that she thinks that in a previous world, or on a previous planet it used to be a European city, and now she’s trying to do her best to hide the Arab identity and shadow it with the heights of her skyscrapers.

But I was a bit surprised and somehow jealous that Syria was ahead of Lebanon in this smart initiative. While we are still battling to form a decent government, and still couldn’t make our mind whether Gebran Bassil should be a minister of telecommunication or not, countries that we used to contempt are starting to outdo us.

Yes, I think this is a clever idea. It doesn’t make people quit smoking whatsoever, but it surely decreases the number of cigarettes consumed and make the atmosphere much more pleasant and healthier, especially for the non smokers.

Do you see any day soon that this law will be implemented in Lebanon? What do you think?

Ra7et el Connection!

OPRAH WINFREY: QUEEN OF TALK SHOW OR DRAMA QUEEN???

I’ve heard somewhere on the TV that Oprah Winfrey is organizing a show about the famous people around the world and she will be interviewing Nancy Ajram as a celebrity from Lebanon. I was intrigued to watch the show or at least to see the part of Nancy Ajram since I am always interested in seeing how international media display the image of Lebanon, and what if that show was THE Oprah Winfrey show which is seen by an estimated 50 million viewers each week.
Even though I am not a big fan of her or her show, but I have to admit that Winfrey is one of the most influential woman in the history of television and I can only think of all the hard work she and her staff have to endure each week in order to get enough research and study and concrete data about her guests and stories.

And to my surprise!!!

I was astonished when I YouTubed the episode to see that the main idea of the clip was to show Nancy wearing western clothes (like any Lebanese women) and to compare it with photos of women from Afghanistan or Iran or any country ending with an AN (well, obviously except LibAN) and portraying them as the other Lebanese women, and saying, quote: Nancy’s sexy dance move, has caused quite the controversy in this “Deeply Conservative” country!

I am not sure whether Oprah’s depiction of Lebanon as a Deeply Conservative country is due to some lack of research done by her team, or just to make her story a bit more interesting, but it surely reinforce the idea that she has the same stale stereotypes as most of her idiotic compatriots!

Male or Female?

I am sure everyone of you have heard of Caster Semenya the South African middle-runner and world champion. But that's not the reason why she became so famous. She earned her infamousness for being tested to know whether she is actually a male or female. Last week I was sitting in the office, having my morning coffee and reading an online article about that poor kid who I bet she's gonna have a really hard time getting herself a date in the near future, where suddenly I had this revelation!!! Has anyone noticed that her name tells her actual story? Caster = Castration; Semenya = Semen...

Anyways, I wish the media can cut her/him some slack, and stop portaying her other than she is actually is, like the cover in YOU magazine, where she had to wear a dress and make up, and had to put on her face a sad and fake smile...